So it is difficult to find something to do with myself lately. I don't have school stuff at the moment, after 4 years of after school planning for teaching and 4 more years of studying for my own college experience, having no homework is weird. I feel like I am slacking when I am not doing anything, when really, I have nothing pressing to do right now.

I go to work and do my job; 10 hour days are tiring and I don't feel like doing much afterward. But on days like today, when I have work off, I feel like I should be doing something productive. Last weekend I did a lot of sewing...I made a few dresses for my friend's little girl and I made about 8 dog collars. I will probably do more sewing stuff this weekend but I'm not feeling 100% into sewing stuff.

What I SHOULD be doing is writing. I gave my hard copies of my finished book, tentatively named Trios, to some friends last week. The first couple people have returned it with good comments. The
teenager that read it for me wrote me a fan letter (my first fan letter!) and it was very sweet. Now the second round of friends have the copies and I am awaiting their opinions.

I am trying to give myself some distance from the story because I find when I write and immediately re-read and edit I think that everything is terrible. I'm too close to the story, I know it so well, I can't look at it objectively. I have noticed this with fanfiction I have written; when I go back and read it months later I wonder at myself for not finishing it, yet I know at the time I didn't think it was worth a darn. Distance forces me to look at my writing with fresh eyes and a more objective point of view.

Therefore I am not going to look at what any of my friends wrote edit-wise until after it's been passed around. Then I will re-read the copies and edit what needs to be edited. One of my friends from work does a lot of novel editing, or beta-ing if you choose to call it that; she already has it filled with pink sticky notes, mostly grammar things from my quick skim through. That's awesome. It can only help me improve, right?

In the meantime, I should be working on something else. I have Contender half written; I'm blocked on that because I have to write a scene killing a beloved character and I don't want to. That's been that way for a little over a year now. I have my fantasy/dragon story that is a little over half finished. I have no excuse for not finishing that other than I was trying to focus on one story and Trios came up the winner. I also have a dystopia/spy novel that is about 40% finished that I could work on. I could work on a possible sequel to Trios that may or may not every happen but I feel I should have something started. Not to mention the fanfiction I intended to write for my sister and finish by Christmas. So lots of writing to do. The problem is, I just need to do it. I can find so many ways to procrastinate on writing, it's ridiculous.

And I know I won't get anything done tonight. I have to work in the morning, I have to go to bed early so I'm not a crab apple at work. I am having lunch with a friend. At some point I need to take the girls to the dog park to run because walking them two-three times a week isn't quite cutting it. I want to make a fairy costume for my dog because Ren Fest is next month. So many excuses not to write....I need to stop that and just do it.

We will see. This blog, whether anyone ever reads it or not, will keep me accountable. I'll have to report what I have or have not done next week. We shall see if I overcome the procrastination monster or succumb to its temptations. Let's try to keep positive thoughts, shall we?